The Fortune Cookie industry needs a major overhaul.

I haven't got an actual fortune from one of these things in many a moon. They have become Statement Cookies. Pathetic. It's obvious that the guys who write for the cookie companies threw in the towel a long time ago, just phoned it in, basically saying, "You know, we don't have any idea about what is going to happen to you. And ya know what else, we're not gonna even try to guess. But here's a random statement for you that predicts nothing." Thanks for the effort team.

Someone has to come up with a set of Ultra-Specific Fortune Cookies, something to the tune of, "Next Thursday at 3 PM, you will see a man in a hat. Avoid this man at all costs." Think you'd give that dude on the corner in a fedora a second look?
Yeah, thought so.