Jesus was a pioneer of gang signs.

Hey Zeus!
Originally uploaded by eppyad.

In his youth, J.C. of N. ran with an upstart young bunch of messiahs known as The Nazareth Nine. They were known far and wide as the most pious group in the region, a crew that you most definitely did not want to trade revelations with. After a heated confrontation with a rival group of prophets, times were tense in the neighborhood between Upper Galilee and West Canaan; it was hard to judge a friend from a foe.

It was this anxious environment that led JC to institute a series of hand gestures (as seen above) that allowed rival crews to easily distinguish between each other.

Groundbreaking for its time, the new signs or "Jesus Knuckles," proved to be so effective they were soon adopted by other faiths, most notably the Shinto Crips.

Yeah...hardy har. In all seriousness though, what is the deal with Jesus' hands in all those medieval tapestries and mosaic? If you're a member of the largest religious group in the group in the nation and you have a satisfying answer, please let me know.

Until then, it will continue to look to me as if:

1) Jesus is in a gang.
2) Jesus has terrible arthritis.
3) Jesus is trying to flick a booger.

Please set me straight.