"Why They Hate Us" - reason #472: PARADE Magazine

Originally uploaded by eppyad.

I'd love to be a fly on the wall during the (weekly?) editorial meetings at PARADE "Magazine."

"Okay, people. What are we doing this week? Hit me with it."

"Well sir, Douglas and myself are finishing up our piece about the middle-class family that is searching for The American Dream..."

"Good, good...who else? Come on, give it to me."

"Sir, I'm finishing up my photo essay on The American Dream and how a middle-class family is searching for it."

"Nice! Nice! Allright, we're on a roll....Johnson, how's the celebrity interview coming?"

"Sir, it's going great. Dr. Koop has had some wild stories to say the least. I'm thinking of calling the piece, "An Interview with former Surgeon General C Everett Koop."

"Brilliant! Troops, troops, tupperware, Clifford..."

"Lladro, Jesus, troops, Marilyn Vos Savant..."

"Cathy, jello, troops, fireworks, 15 year olds talking about realtionships!!!"

"Yes! Yes! Print it! To the presses!!!"

Luckily, the majority of PARADE readers are either in their 70s, from Wyoming, or hung over from a liver-killing Saturday night.

All of which are roughly the same thing.